Had been busy for the past few weeks helping my tutees prepare for their mid-year exams. It was especially tough for my charges from China as it would be their first major exam in a foreign language – English. It would determine how much they have acquired since they embarked on the new learning journey. It would also be a test on my ability to effectively disseminate the translated texts. Thus, both my tutees and I await eagerly for the results.

During this period, I have sort of neglected my pets, namely my long-necked terrapin and kois. The former had not been its usual self for some time. It had refused to eat and would be in a sleep-like state most of the time. I had tried luring it with its favourite food – live frogs, but instead it just let them climb onto its soft-shelled back and make no attempt to prey on them. After a few failed attempts with the other stuff which it would usually eat, I left it alone to ‘hibernate’. In-between my kois’ feeding sessions, I would arouse it to make sure that it was still breathing.

On Monday evening when I reached home after my day’s work, I was too tired to even feed my kois and thus didn’t check on my terrapin. Then the next morning, while tending to my kois, I was greeted by a stench. Thinking that it was coming from my kois’ tank as I had been too busy to change the water, I didn’t suspect anything amiss. But as the day progressed, I realised that the stench was coming from another source – my terrapin’s tank. I stirred the water to entice a response but it lay motionless. Upon closer inspection, I realised that it was bloated and was not responding to my ‘harassment’ at all. It was DEAD!

I found it hard to believe that it had left me just like that. I have had it for almost 6 years and have witnessed its growth in size from that of a matchbox to that of a large paper plate. And during this period, my attachment to it had deepened in proportion to its enlargement. The sudden loss caused me to be at my wits’ end – a situation that I’ve not been in for a long time till now. Though I have handled ‘funeral’ of other pets (mainly aquarium fishes), I was at a loss as how I should arrange one for my beloved terrapin. After much thought, I decided to bury it at a nearby park. I placed the inflated carcass into a plastic bag and cycled to the park with it. There is a lake within the park and I chose a spot near the bank to be its final resting place so as to provide it with the wet environment which it had always loved.

While cleaning up the terrapin’s tank with a heavy heart, I decided to do likewise for my kois’ which was in dire need of a good cleanup. As I emptied the water, I suddenly felt that I owed it to the kois to give them a more thorough cleanup. I pumped out more than three-quarter of the water and filled it up with clean, fresh water. I also dismantled the filter and air pump system, giving it a good scrub. Just as I was assembling the system, I noticed the unusual behaviour of the kois. They were swimming erratically as if they were being possessed. Then it occurred to me that it could be due to the low level of oxygen in the water since the water was ‘new’ and the air pump was being set up. I quickly got the system running, hoping that it would improve the condition. But much to my dismay, some of my kois began to swim belly-up. For a second time in a day, I found myself at my wits’ end. I could only watch helplessly as the kois gasp for their breaths. I desperately wanted to do something to help them but didn’t know I could do. Finally, after about half an hour, 8 of my 9 kois lay motionless at the bottom of the tank.

What have I done wrong? In my attempt to make up for not having taken care of their ‘well-being’, I have actually forgotten the golden rule for changing water, which is never to replace more than half the amount of water in the tank. Thus, the kois have actually been ‘murdered’ by my carelessness.

Now, as I watch my sole survivor swim in its tank, I couldn’t help but lament that life, be it that of an animal or a human being, is so frail and unsustainable. Perhaps, I shouldn’t be so sentimental as death is part and parcel of living and I should treat it as nature taking its due course.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.